Sailing Towards Success - Terry Barkman

[00:00:00] Jennifer Henczel: Welcome to the inspiring innovator show, where we share inspiring stories and powerful strategies from uplifting leaders. We are your hosts, Paul and Jennifer Hensel. And today on the show, we're excited to have Terry Barkman.

[00:00:23] Paul Henczel: Terry Barkman is the founder and lead team builder. At sailboat coaching international and the pioneer of sailboat coaching when he isn't dancing or adventuring.

[00:00:34] He is also the thought leader behind the free range coach movement, a collective of post industrial coaches committed to coaching that is experiential when teams and individuals need to unleash their full potential and act courageously on their own absolute worthiness. They seek out coaching from Terry.

[00:00:56] Well, welcome, Terry. We are thrilled to have you. Thanks very much for joining [00:01:00] us. Thank you so much, Paul and Jennifer.

[00:01:01] Terry Barkman: I'm excited to be here with you. You could even say inspired.

[00:01:05] Paul Henczel: Awesome. Why don't you start by telling us your story and why you're in the process of writing your book?

[00:01:11] Terry Barkman: Yes, thank you. My book is called The Sailboat Effect and it really comes out of the way that we build teams, uh, and create leadership, uh, develop leadership skills on sailboats.

[00:01:24] Uh, and so it's really targeted at the people who I'm coaching, which are people who want to have better leadership skills, want to be more followable, uh, and people also who want to show up either to their workplace or to their relationships as a better team builder. Uh, and this has been something that has been fascinating to me really, uh, my entire adult life.

[00:01:48] Jennifer Henczel: Oh, that's amazing. So I know you really focus on results. What is that important and magical moment right before you see results that you teach about?

[00:01:59] Terry Barkman: Yes. Yeah. [00:02:00] So this is a vignette that you see in the book and you catch a little bit of it in my Ted talk. There's a moment in sailing where we are sailing along and, and Jennifer, let's say you're at the wheel, right?

[00:02:11] And Paul's handling the sails and I'm the captain of this ship. And we decide we are going to head over there and we pick a point and we get everything ready and I look at you and I say, Jennifer, turn the wheel 90 degrees to your right. Do it now. And you do. And if there isn't a ton of wind and maybe if there's a wave action, nothing happens.

[00:02:32] This is not at all like driving a car where the results are. Seemingly instant and you look at me and you go did I do it wrong? Is the boat broken? Should I turn it further? What's like what's happening in this time between when we commit it to action and when we start seeing results And my favorite thing to say in that moment is jennifer.

[00:02:56] Just give it a minute It is already happening, [00:03:00] and you may not be able to feel it happening because I've been sailing my whole life. I can feel the boat getting ready to turn, and then maybe as much as 30, 45, even 60 seconds later. It starts to come around and the wind grabs the sails from the other side and we pick up speed and we charge off to our next destination.

[00:03:22] And so there's that moment where we need to be confident that we've taken action and the action will have results. But I feel that moment just keeps applying over and over again in relationships, in business. Yeah, in going to the gym, anything where you would say, I've started this and I've given it 10 seconds.

[00:03:38] Why am I not there yet?

[00:03:40] Jennifer Henczel: Oh, that's so true. We see that all the time in business, right? With people and we just want to encourage people not to give up. But what do you say to people when they, you see them put in all that work and then they just want to give up? Right. Yeah. I mean, especially

[00:03:54] Terry Barkman: with people who I'm coaching, um, I will ask them, how long do you think [00:04:00] you need to go before you'll see the first set of results?

[00:04:03] What do you think is realistic? And often they know they're like, yeah, I should probably go to the gym at least two months before I, Before I start looking to see something, um, and and in a different example, you know, if it's something that you're doing differently in a relationship, it may take more than a couple of months for the other person to really deeply respond to this is the new version of you as opposed to just something that you did right, right, once or twice.

[00:04:31] Um, so I handle that differently, whether I'm coaching or whether I'm giving advice. If I'm giving advice, I say. the gift of time, let the results come to you and just keep doing the thing that you know is going to work.

[00:04:45] Paul Henczel: Cool. Now, how is waiting for results connected to a deep personal sense of worthiness?

[00:04:53] Terry Barkman: Yeah, I mean, for a lot of people, and it's amazing how high this goes. I coach people [00:05:00] at Google, the US Air Force. Uh, Warner Brothers, some big name organizations and people who are high up and they have the same doubts and fears as every one of the rest of us do, where they're like, Am I good enough to do the thing that I want?

[00:05:18] If I start this, will I succeed? Will I win that award that I'm excited about? Um, and so for a lot of us in that moment of waiting, what we're sitting with is our doubts. We're sitting with our doubts and our fears. Uh, and, and at least for me, also my impatience. Uh, and so remembering no, uh, I am worthy of good things and I Uh am brave enough to be with my fear for a minute Uh, and and I will give myself the gift of time rather than trying to Impatiently make something happen faster than it can by just putting in the work

[00:05:59] Jennifer Henczel: Oh, that's [00:06:00] amazing.

[00:06:00] And then, so when there's nothing else to do, how can your quiet confidence as a leader affect your team in that way?

[00:06:08] Terry Barkman: I mean, how I get into my quiet confidence is posture. I make sure that I'm standing up really straight and that, uh, it's easier to breathe. Uh, I see you guys sitting up in your chairs with me.

[00:06:21] We've got a great, uh, three posture person party happening right now. And I make sure that I do get a couple of deep breaths in and out and really just let my lungs relax and let my face relax. And people want to follow you when you're calm and clear. And that's how I want to show up as a leader. I am calm and clear and giving people a comfortable space where they can follow and ask questions and be relaxed.

[00:06:54] Uh, it's, it's amazing how counterintuitive this is, but, uh, [00:07:00] Calm and relaxedness is how we generate power. Uh, and that's what people want Most people want to follow. And so, um, that's the leadership style that I teach coach and train.

[00:07:15] Jennifer Henczel: Oh, that's amazing. You know, you are a well known leader in the circles that we travel in and, you know, we've been connected online for so many years and I really recommend that people connect with you and, you know, seek out your book when it's ready.

[00:07:29] So when, tell us about when. When you think your book will be ready, what's the process and how can people find you?

[00:07:36] Terry Barkman: We're still in the final stages of creating the book, my team and I. We are expecting early in 2025 it will be available on Amazon and on my website and in select bookstores. uh, around the world.

[00:07:51] Uh, on my website, the place that you want to look is Terry Barkman slash writing. Uh, and that's where you can opt in if you, uh, want [00:08:00] to pre order the book or reserve a copy for yourself. Um, and depending, uh, when you're hearing this, it may already be available for sale at the time when you're listening.

[00:08:09] Jennifer Henczel: Terrybarkman. com forward slash writing.

[00:08:12] Terry Barkman: And what's

[00:08:13] Jennifer Henczel: the title? Do you have a title yet, Terry?

[00:08:16] Terry Barkman: The book is called The Sailboat

[00:08:19] Jennifer Henczel: Oh,

[00:08:20] Terry Barkman: nice. Uh, and just like the vignette that you asked me about a minute ago, the sailboat effect really is that way of being on a sailboat. For me, sailing, it encompasses the Venn diagram of usness, of really being a team and committing to being in the same boat.

[00:08:40] Um, and deciding what kind of team we want to be taking that quiet confidence and layering it on with excellent leadership and interpersonal skills.

[00:08:52] Jennifer Henczel: Oh, that's amazing. And what, what are your next steps after that? Are you looking to speak and share your book with other audiences on [00:09:00] podcasts and things like that?

[00:09:01] Terry Barkman: Once the book is out, I will continue to do podcast interviews and media appearances. I will also be doing more public speaking then, as my schedule opens up, and I'm excited to get on the stages. I know that the audience responds well when I have the time to do that kind of thing. Uh, and I also love the gift of being able to be in person whenever I can, uh, so that after the speaking, you can shake hands and talk to people and have that kind of personal connection.

[00:09:32] Jennifer Henczel: Well, we'll put a link to your site and to your TED talk as well in the show notes and people can find that at inspiringshow. com. And so where are your adventures taking you next, Terry?

[00:09:43] Terry Barkman: Well, I mean, right now it is very much the book. And then after the. Book, uh, like we mentioned, it will be more speaking, uh, and then also sailboat coaching trips.

[00:09:53] Um, part of the driving force behind writing my team building and leadership [00:10:00] book this way is that we do team building trips for corporations and organizations on the sailboat. Uh, and, uh, I am just excited to get out on the water and invite people into that space, where it's a small group, uh, where you get to know people a little better than speaking on a big stage.

[00:10:19] Uh, and people get to see the results of their changes in attitude, communication, and teamwork in real time, and that is just a thrilling thing to share.

[00:10:30] Paul Henczel: What are some of the places you've sailed to? We've done coaching on

[00:10:35] Terry Barkman: sailboats, uh, right here in B. C. in the Southern Gulf Islands, the Sunshine Coast, all of those beautiful places.

[00:10:42] Also in the Caribbean, the British Virgin Islands. Nice. Uh, and then in, in Europe, in the Med, in Spain and Greece, uh, and we're looking at Croatia. Wow. Wow.

[00:10:52] Jennifer Henczel: Wow. Sounds like a wonderful retreat experience.

[00:10:56] Terry Barkman: It is a beautiful retreat experience, uh, [00:11:00] not without, uh, some intentionality and some work to it, but calming and relaxing.

[00:11:05] It really brings a team together. I, I can't imagine, honestly, a better offsite for your team if you've got a little bit of, you know, time to get away.

[00:11:14] Jennifer Henczel: Well, thank you for sharing that with us today. And you can find everything about Terry Barkman on our website at inspiringshow. com. We'll have all the links there for you.

[00:11:23] Terry Barkman: so much, Jennifer and Paul. It is a delight to be here with you. Uh, and I'm glad we're finally making this happen.

[00:11:29] Jennifer Henczel: Yeah,

[00:11:30] Terry Barkman: it's

[00:11:30] Jennifer Henczel: awesome. Bye for now.

[00:11:32] Terry Barkman: Bye for now.